An endless gift from the wedding of Josh & Ninu

By Kate Vanskike

The guests were all dispersing from the Grand Uniara in Jaipur. A small group of American young adults boarded a bus for an Indian safari; others headed to the airport for multiple destinations. Dev and Gupta family members departed for Mumbai or to local homes. In the lobby, the Vanskikes rested in wingback chairs, rising to say goodbyes.

And Kathie, mother of the groom, stepped through the French doors at the back, out to the now-empty lawn. 

For two short days, this grand lawn had transformed from a plain green rectangle into a kaleidoscope of color for an unforgettable celebration. Rigging went up, draped with yellow and white cloths that flapped gently in the wind, beneath them vibrant couches and comfy seating areas awaited guests. Rows of catering dishes topped white linen tablecloths in the shade. A kettle boiled over charcoal on the back of a bicycle under the tree, brewing up masala chai to be served in tiny terracotta cups. Everywhere, flowers: marigolds and daisies forming photo backdrops for selfies. Music blared from speakers as the sun shone over the whole scene, creating a movie-like environment. 

“So much happened here,” Kathie said as crews removed the last of the rigging, returning the lawn to its original state. 

It was the setting for so much laughter and beauty. Here, carnival took place: Devs and Vanskikes challenged each other in games – fathers Manish and Andy competing to successfully toss flower garlands around Parul’s and Kathie’s necks; siblings Sam and Anu playing tug-of-war; a drinking game wherein Josh knew to rely on his friends rather than any Vanskike; and dances – so many amazing dances. Here, Josh and Ninu received an endless flower shower, drenched in color and laughter.

It wasn’t just the Uniara’s lawn that hosted so much beauty. For the Mehendi party, the terrace donned vibrant blues and yellows for dancing, drumming, drinks and party favors. The front entrance staged the groom’s procession in a horse-drawn carriage around the property, complete with drummers and a traffic-stopping scene. The rooftop setting was exquisite for the wedding ceremony – a flower-laden canopy for the bride’s entrance, a pillowy stage for the Hindi rituals, canons that shot red and pink petals, a fog machine for the couple to float on clouds, silver fireworks bursting off the rooftop. (The fairytale finale took place offsite – a nighttime soiree at a historic fort, with a meal at the queen’s palace.) 

The Beginning of JoNu

What became a shorthand reference to the bride and groom – JoNu – started with Josh Vanskike and Namrata “Ninu” Dev in California. Just after proposing to Ninu, Josh brought his fiancee to Washington state where a family reunion took place for the 80th birthdays of his grandparents, Tom and Toni. It was a bold move – Ninu saying yes to Josh before meeting this clan. But she fit in naturally and perfectly, and everyone loved her immediately. When she said there would eventually be a traditional Indian wedding, I informed her I’d be there whether she intended to invite me or not!

First, Josh’s parents Andy and Kathie would host a small backyard American ceremony at their home in 2023, and this would begin the germination of a Vanskike-Dev camaraderie bridging two distinct cultures, faiths and families. 

Finally, 2025 arrived and plans for the Indian ceremonies solidified. As editor of all publications for a private university, I set about developing production schedules that centered on my travel, which centered on Josh and Ninu’s wedding. It was a lot of pressure I put on Ninu to hurry up and make decisions! Her parents – Manish and Parul – somewhat magically secured all the perfect locations for the various parties and celebrations and before long, we saw elegant designs for each individual occasion. 

WhatsApp became the connector for those stateside and in India. I messaged Parul for advice on my other travels and she provided sage insights at every turn. In August, I sent a note to her, thanking her for including me in all the family chats about wedding plans and preparations. I starred her reply: 

“Kate, you know Indian weddings are deeply rooted in family, emphasizing the joining of two families rather than just two individuals. Rituals, ceremonies, and even games are designed to foster connection and create lasting bonds between the families of the bride and groom. These events strengthen relationships and create shared memories that extend far beyond the wedding day.” 

I wished my other siblings, Jane and Steve, and our parents could be part of it, but as I was the solo representation of the bigger Vanskike family, I’d just have to soak up the whole experience deeply enough to share. 

The Devs made that experience real from the moment Kathie and I arrived, a couple days in advance of Andy and Sam. Ninu, her sister Anu, grandparents and parents, and some early guests, greeted us at the family home with a traditional Indian blessing ritual, one that they repeated for every new arrival over the coming days. There would be a constant supply of hot chai, homemade meals, shots, and friendly banter between us and the ever-growing number of people from the Dev and Gupta clans, as Grampa Gupta tracked the flights of every arriving celebrant. The cherry on top was Gunu, Ninu’s lovely cousin, who joined Anu in being the best go-to anytime I had a question about literally anything. 

Auntyship

Among the Devs is where I became a Bua. I’ve always loved being an aunt to my three nieces and three nephews and the spouses they’ve brought into the fold, but becoming an Indian aunt, a Bua, was different. 

“The Aunties,” as Kathie and I referred to our new friends in India, were continually at our side for advice, shopping, bartering, and laughs. Mahima, Bhawana, and Reshma made us feel like we had always been part of the family. When they told me the importance of being a Bua in an Indian family, I believed them. It seemed more than the usual auntie experience in a typical American family, although I realized that I’ve had an especially deep experience with one of my own aunts who is definitely a Bua. I’d take that to heart. 

Ninu made the acquisition of this new role easy for me. As a bride responsible for connecting two families, entertaining nearly 30 American friends who’d made the journey, tending to details for every event, and wanting to have a personal touch with every guest, Ninu was tireless and graceful and ever-smiling the most true expression of sheer joy. She managed to make every person feel special. 

Josh, for his part, rarely imparted a vibe of stress despite the pressure on him to be as gracious as his wife while also managing mid-term exams in PT school. His cool composure held, and he fulfilled his role as a prince as well as Ninu in her native environment. 

Beyond Celebrations

So after two years of dreaming and months of planning, the Devs delivered an extraordinary experience that proved Parul’s expectation of an Indian wedding. From the choreographer doing Zoom lessons with people around the globe, to rooftop and living room dance rehearsals, family and friends learned to work together to create an entire production’s worth of energy and connection. The carnival’s emcee noted the beauty of bringing together two cultures, suggesting that any single Americans and Indians present should consider options for another union of this kind. By the end, when Kathie stood looking wistfully at the empty lawn of the Grand Uniara, Parul and Manish were satisfied that everything had taken place exactly as they’d hoped, and the now twice-married couple could escape to Thailand knowing that they deserved their own private celebration. 

It didn’t take grand parties to convince Kathie and I to plan on returning to India, however. After just day two of being in the Dev household getting to know the family (plus taking a few fun rickshaw rides around Jaipur), Kathie and I agreed we’d be coming back. We’ll be sure Grampa has our flight numbers to track. 

In the meantime, this Bua is checking in on her other nieces and nephews.